"we love what we love, not what loves us."
--from Adaptation

That's what makes us so fascinating. We are so often drawn to the things that hurt us or the things that we cannot have. We are passionate about them because they take us away from the mundane, trivial, commonplace things that make up our daily lives. waking up, working, sleeping next to the same person night after night, talking about the same old things. needing money. not having enough money. not knowing what to do with money. our faces. our bodies. our scars (outside and inside). our fears. our insecurities. everyday life. the life that we feel we want to do something about. the life we want to live differently. the things we want so much to feel. the things we fear we may never feel again. all of it. the fleeting. the moments. the thrills. the endings.

we meet people and they become a part of our lives. we take for granted those that are already in our lives-those who have lived out a greater part of our lives with us- because new people are, well, new...different... odd... something that we're not accustomed to. but when they've become part of us for so long, who's to say that we won't take them for granted too?

This is why I believe I actually like being hurt. Experiencing unrequited love or love that wasn't returned in full fervor was something that was actually more fulfilling. The hint of possibility that all things could and do fade was what made the ride more valuable. The thought of it ending made you want to make the most out of it... despite the pain and fear. I felt alive. I felt like a true victim of passion. That was me.

Who am i now?

Let's wait and see